Monkey Business

26th December 2007: First Test Match Melbourne, Australia
Match is over in four days. Australia beat India by 337 runs. The media leaves no stone unturned to prove that India played poorly. Debates continue over team selection and speculation is rife about the final eleven who will play the second test.

The Indian team is disappointed and charts out a strategy to take on the mighty Aussies. The Aussies on the other hand are determined to win the next match. It's the most crucial match for them as winning the match means they will equal their own record of 16 consecutive Test wins.

2nd January 2008: Second Test Match Melbourne, Sydney
The match starts off with Australia gaining the momentum. India, not willing to be left behind, bat superbly to take a lead with Sachin and Laxman hitting centuries and Dravid and Ganguly backing up with well made half-centuries. Hey mate!! Wait wait...there's something wrong going on. How can these bl**** players snatch away victory from right under our nose. A draw wont help us either as we wont be able to equal the record. Let's try sledging first. Obviously, the aussies are perturbed. They are scared, petrified and afraid of losing. So they resort to tactics they are well known for. This time they pick up Bhajji. He is accused of allegedly passing a racial remark against Andrew Symonds. According to media reports, Bhajji allegedly called Symonds a 'monkey'. Does this qualify as a 'racial' comment in the first place. Racism means "The belief that one racial group is inferiro to another and the practices of the dominant group to maintain the inferior position of the dominated group." Bhajji faces a ban for probably the rest of the series and the kangaroos jump and down on winning another match.

The Indians still put up a fight to salvage the situation. They bat well enough to hope for a draw in the second innings. Oi there mate, we need to think of something else. The Indians have become immune to sledging, I believe...bellows Punter!!

Help comes in from an unexpected quarter this time. The team of B & B comes to the rescue. Instead of wasting their time in deciding whether the player from India is out, the decision is referred to a FOURTH UMPIRE. Mr. Fourth Umpire nods his head and puts up his finger. Ahhh!! The message has been received from the Lord himself. Now, I need not consult anyone and up goes Mr. Benson's finger and Ganguly is out.

The other players follow suit though Anil Kumble puts up a brave fight.

Why India lost the match?
- We did not cry mama when someone called us names
- We did not cheat
- We did not pay the umpires

IN MY OPINION, INDIA LOST THE WAR BUT WON THE BATTLE...kyunki haarkar jeetne wale ko hi Baazigar kehte hain

P.S: I really don't know when the Indian media will mature. Yesterday, amidst reports of bad umpiring decisions a SPECIAL NEWS REPORT promised to show the viewers something INTERESTING!! What you may ask, is more interesting and important than to know what's going on in Australia? Well, the media had kept a close on a certain Ms. Padukone who had traveled all the way to Sydney to watch the match. The Special Report was all about her reaction and expression on her face when Yuvi fell for a duck. The song "Aankon main teri ajab si ajab si.." was playing in the background. Pink graphic hearts were falling as snow on the screen. hmmm..need I say more??????